Writing humour is always difficult. Combining situations, thoughts, and words in a precise manner takes a lot of effort. It's doubly so for our boys. The X-Files is a serious show, and we hardly ever see Mulder and Krycek in humourous situations. It takes a talented author to see the humour in their relationship, to find just the right ridiculous situation to put them in, and to make the characters amusing yet clearly recognizable.
With clever wit and absurdity, with insecurities and hijinks, here are our nominees.
And the nominees are...
Just Talking by Frankie
I also sit here playing out different scenarios in my head. They usually go something like this...
Me: It's vital I talk to you.
Him: There's nothing you have to say that I want to hear.
Me: But, I love you.
Lavender Gman: Picket Fences by Hephaestion
Mulder looked at Alex and heard the serious tone. Mulder felt the dread hit him. "I see. So I guess it has happened. I guess eventually we would come to this. Who is it? Don't tell me I bet it's that little queer from downstairs! That bitch who shakes his little ass whenever he sees you. I saw the way that BITCH fucking arranges his cock in his jeans whenever you are around. I am not stupid! I might have been somewhat 'confused' about my homosexuality for over 40 years but I am NOT STUPID! I CAN SEE A BITCH IN HEAT after MY MAN! Where is my fucking GUN!" Mulder yelled after the tirade and jumped up out of bed. Mulder ripped open the dresser drawer taking out his Glock 9mm. "That bitch is DEAD. If that young, good looking queen thinks 'SHE' can walk into my life and take my LOVER." Mulder's voice was screeching and his hand shook.
"MULDER CALM DOWN DAMMIT!" Alex yelled. "It isn't about that fucking little boy, it is about us buying a house! I want us to commit, to live in a house. You know, maybe a kid, a dog, maybe even a picket fence." Alex said to his lover. "Now gimme that gun honey and calm down."
Lavender Gman: Surrender Dorthy by Hepaestion
Alex and Mulder sat in the first row and watched with parental delight as their son performed in his school's production of The Wizard of Oz.
Not only was the boy's fathers there, but beside them were FBI Director Dana Scully Skinner, her husband Walter S. Skinner, John Byers and his longtime companion Langley. Uncle Frohike was in the aisle with the video camera recording the momentus event.
The Popsicle Story by Araxdelan
He sighs. "Mulder, if it weren't so damn hot out, I'd go over there and hit you."
"No you wouldn't."
"Yes I wou.... shut up Mulder. Why wouldn't I?"
I shrug. "You never hit me before. Except for that time in my apartment..." That time he kissed me....
He laughs a little. "Oh yeah. I thought it'd be a good idea to stun you. You're so much quieter that way."
SeXfile: AOL Chat by Hephaestion
Just when Mulder felt his orgasm reach its peak, the screen went dead.
Alex!! Mulder screamed and once again was looking at the signup screen. It read:
Sorry, you did not click the online clock telling us you were still online.
Therefore you were automatically closed.
Mulder read the screen in disbelief and swore until he was red in the face.
Wedding of the Year by Dr. Ruthless and Relentless
All she had to do right now, apart from looking beautiful, was to get through the day without permitting any of the factions at her wedding to come to blows. Easy! Child's play!
Frowning, she contemplated Fox Mulder, knowing his propensity for causing trouble. Once she had allayed her own fears regarding Mulder, her thoughts sprang instantly to the hell born brat he had taken up with. Alex Krycek and Fox Mulder, the thought of the two of them running amok at her wedding sent her worriedly to the phonebook to look for travel agents that sold South America.
At that point her mother returned to the room to help her on with her dress, and her chance of flight was over with.
And the winner is...